"Hello Nishant?" “Yes, this is Nishant here.
Who is this speaking?" "Hey Nishant!! I am Sanjana”
"You
idiot! You have remembered me after 2 years. Where have you been for so long?
And I have heard that you have changed your gender."
Like any good friend, Nishant's voice also had an enthusiasm to talk to his
friend after years. Hearing his enthusiasm, my fear had subsided a bit to talk
to my old friend. After all I had changed. "Yes, you heard it right, man
Nishant. I have changed gender. I laughed. "Oh sorry. Ok i will you I will
say Sanjana. Man, your voice has also changed with gender.", Nishant said.
Nishant was
talking to me in such a normal way even after knowing such a big thing about
me. I was happy to hear this and also a little emotional. My throat was filling
with joy. But while handling my feelings, I started talking to him further.
"Dude, the voice has to be changed. Now the hot girl who I have become! So
the voice should be like that too”, I started teasing him. "You are right.
By the way, where do you live in the US? I came to the US just a week ago. My
company has finally sent me here."
“The city you are in… is where I live too. Can you tell if you are free on
Saturday morning? This is the match of your Mumbai Indians team. We Will see
together with beer”, I said. "What are you talking about? You are here!
Then I will definitely come. It will be fun to watch the match together like in
the old days. Well, only beer will not work, yes. If I come to the US, I will
drink whiskey too and it will be expensive. "Ok. See you just like in the
old days. sure”, I quote but was it possible to meet like in the old days after
my change?
"Look, you have become a girl, so don't favor her too much. You know how she used to eat in college. And not even this Sanjay. What had happened to him who told Rashmi about me. "Oh good that I have told. Otherwise how could I talk to you? Well listen… I have a meeting now. I will send you my address by sms. You are sure to come by 9 am tomorrow. Bye!" “Bye.. Sanjana! Well listen…. I like your name. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow. See you soon!”, Nishant said with a laugh.
Don't know why I started smiling shyly as soon as I kept the phone. Nishant was just my good friend. I can't tell how nice it was to talk to him. All the people who already know me, they are not able to talk to me with such ease today. It was difficult for everyone to see me in my new form… and Nishant… don't know how he will react when he comes tomorrow. He had never even seen me as a girl.
That night I kept on changing the sides and kept smiling thinking that meeting Nishant will happen like this, we will have fun like old days, just like best friends. After all, he was my best friend. Still, when I started changing my gender two years ago, I didn't tell him anything. There was a fear that the friendship might not break. If he doesn't understand me. But still there was always a desire to meet him and clear everything which was about to be fulfilled. Tonight I had no sleep in my eyes, just dreams to spend a happy time with a friend.
Next morning I got up early and started cooking so that when Nishant comes, lunch is ready. Anyway, for the people coming from India, the cost of Indian home food is something else. After cooking, I started thinking about what clothes to wear. My daily wear clothes are only western clothes like dress and skirt etc. I didn't want to wear anything sexy in front of Nishant. One, he was about to see me as a girl for the first time, if I wear something more sexy than above, then he will be shocked.
And then even I knew him… if I put on a dress, he would go crazy seeing my cleavage in the dress! Being her friend, I knew that he is crazy about boobs. That's why I couldn't even wear a salwar suit because in all my suits, the figure was a little too sexy.
So I decided that I will wear some saree. That too who looks less sexy and more decent. Like silk sari… anyway how long has it been for me to wear a sari. Before becoming a woman, saree was my first choice. But if I wanted to work in the US, I could not go to the office wearing a sari. And then wear sari outside the house, then people think that some Indian festival is going to come and foreign women stop and ask about sari. So let's wear saris today and then I started looking for saris in my collection. In the end, I opted for a soft silk saree with matching silk blouse. Now how a more decent woman could be made other than the traditional silk saree? But I also knew in my heart that it was almost impossible not to look sexy in a sari. But what else would I try? I was almost ready wearing a sari and was wearing only bangles in my hands when the doorbell rang.
It must be Nishant, I thought and after looking in the mirror, corrected my lap and saw for one last time whether my blouse was open or not. How fast the time had changed… Never before did I have to think like this to go in front of Nishant. Still I was very happy at this time to meet Nishant and I ran till the door. And on seeing my friend Nishant as soon as I opened the door, I hugged his chest with joy. I didn't want to leave him out of joy and he didn't even take me away. And then when I hugged him wholeheartedly, I separated myself holding his arms and said, “So Nishant ji… we have met.”
But the senses were blown out of Nishant's face… as if he had seen some ghost. Seeing him like this made my face happy too. Nishant also finally turned out like other people. "Come on Nishant! You will also behave like this now… I did not expect this from you. Thought that you are my good friend… at least you will not see me like how I have changed.”, I started turning sadly.
But then he grabbed my arm and stopped me and said, "What man… have you gone mad?" "Leave my hand. I am the only madman who decided to become a girl despite being a boy.”, I said annoyed. "crazy. You know I'm 24 years old software engineer! Till today, far from hugging any girl, I have hardly shaken hands with any girl. And as soon as you opened the door, you hugged me like this. Now I will be shocked if something like this happens!”, And he started laughing. And I also laughed and turned to him again.
Well, to be
honest, it felt better to hug a girl than I thought. Thank you for that!”,
Nishant said. "Okay, don't make things up now. Come inside And on prom, he
will treat me the same way as he used to do while being my friend. Well the
match is about to start.. You turn on the TV and I bring beer." I said
lovingly on his chest with my hand.
Oh! You will steal my heart Sanjana.”, said Nishant while pretending and came
inside behind me. I didn't know that he was walking inside holding my pallu
behind me. When I started moving towards the fridge, my pallu started pulling
because it was in his hand. When I looked back, he was laughing. "Sorry
man.. I had a dream for many years to pull the pallu of a girl's sari."
If your dramas have stopped, can I bring you a beer?”, I smiled and said. I
always knew that Nishant was cheerful, a bit naughty but also very good at
heart. There were never any bad thoughts for anyone in his mischief. While I
was pouring out the beer, he turned on the TV and called out to me,
"Sanjana.. you seriously want us to be like old friends?" "Yes.
Why?", I said from the kitchen itself.
Well then. I had to tell you one thing. You know there's a very hot girl in
this room. Dude swear her ass is so sexy! And her back is seen in the blouse…
by god.. is amazing!” “I will kill you from here now”, I looked at him angrily,
but where was that anger going to be seen in the smile on my face. I knew it
was almost impossible not to look sexy in a saree. I was not even aware that I
was wearing a deep back blouse. I covered my blouse with a pallu before Nishant
could see my bra.This boy does not know what else to say. "Dude, you only
spoke, you talk like old friends. Now Chetan and I used to talk like this. Now
you have become a girl, so don't be too sensitive. I then jokingly threw an
apple at him. "Hey will you kill me?" "Yes. I had already told you
that I will kill you. Now move on and let me sit.", I held the beer in his
hands and sat down next to him. To be honest, I was also enjoying Nishant's
talk. He was my old friend even today… he used to talk in the same way.
By the way, I must have watched matches many times sitting with Nishant in
college, but this was the first time wearing a sari. Both of us were the same,
only my body had changed. Does changing body change something in friends? I
didn't want anything to change between the two of us. We both put our legs straight
on the table in front of the sofa and I started drinking beer while turning my
pallu aside. But Nishant's eyes were elsewhere. I didn't realize that while
keeping my feet on the table, my sari had lifted a bit and my anklets were
visible in my fair smooth legs.
“Sanjana… Man how beautiful are your feet. Payal is looking so good.” Nishant
said looking at my feet. As soon as I realized it, I hurriedly took down my
saree and hid my feet. and looked at him angrily. "Hey why are you angry
with me? Now you are beautiful then you are beautiful. By the way, your style
and anger are more beautiful. "Look Nishant. Will you play like this or
will you let me watch the match too.", I said.
Dekh yaar… you are from US it would be normal for you to watch games with boys.
I have just come to the US. Watching match with girl for the first time.
Understand my feelings too, man. Off oh.. how do I explain to this guy? I was
thinking to myself. But then after sitting on the sofa next to him, I started
watching the match on TV. And when he put his hand on my shoulder, I too
started watching the match with him by resting my head on his shoulder. As a
friend, I didn't find anything strange about it. Maybe he didn't feel it
either. I wanted to talk to Nishant a lot.
I wanted to talk to Nishant a lot. But before that, it will take time for both
of us to become a little normal. It was only a few moments of peace with him
that he lifted his hands from my shoulders and brought them on my arms and then
started rolling on my sleeves on my blouse. "Now what is this prankster
thinking?", I started thinking.
And then he
pressed my arm and said, "Dude you are so soft" Yes, the arms of
girls are soft. By the way, you are not softer than any girl. See how Golu-Molu
has become in 2-3 years. You also wear a blouse, or you will also look sexy.” I
also started pranking him by holding his arm. "Keep quiet you keep saying
anything. I am the boy of the house while eating and drinking. A little bit of
fat is bound to happen. This is a sign of the boys of a good house." “Aye
hi… Golu Molu felt bad about me.”, I started teasing him more. He has been
troubling me ever since he has come; now it was my turn.
We both stared at each other for a while. And then he smiled once again grabbed
me by my arms and pulled me closer to him. "Okay, now let's watch the
match or will you trouble me like this?", Nishant said. "Okay, so am
I bothering you? Ever since you have come, you have kept your nose down!”, I
also came close to him in a complaining tone and started watching TV with my
head on his chest.
The way I was dressed in a sari and was sitting with my head on her chest,
anyone looking at us would surely think that both of us are husband and wife.
But neither of us had any such thought in our mind. When a woman feels safe
with a man, she has no hesitation in hugging a man. I felt the same way. I was
just sitting next to my friend. And I was sure that nothing like this must have
happened in Nishant's mind as well. He was behaving like just a friend who was
meeting me after years. And he was doing what a good friend would do to another
friend… clown and devilish. And perhaps it was only a few moments when we were
sitting in peace that he again felt a prankster. He was still putting his hand
on my arm. But now his hand had come down from my arms to my waist. And then
sliding my sari and putting it inside started touching my waist. I knew that
this boy must now be a new evil doer. Touching my waist slowly with his
fingers, he started tickling a little but I thought let's ignore it. But then
soon after seeing his hands started rising and came on my blouse. And what does
a young boy do by putting his hand in a girl's blouse? He started gently
pressing my breasts on my blouse but I did not say anything to him. I see how far
this prankster progresses, that's what I was thinking.
And then after pressing my soft breasts for some time, he started moving his
fingers round my nipple area. He was doing all this as if it was not a big
deal. So I thought that now I too do a little clown with Nishant. Whenever he
tries to hold my nipple, I close my eyes and take deep breaths as if my body is
on fire. But there was no difference in Nishant. He kept on doing his thing.
So at last I started sighing and taking his face in my hands and bringing it
near my lips said to him, “Oops sweetheart… Since when has my body been
yearning for a man? Don't hurt me anymore… Why don't you kiss my lips by
hugging me, Nishant?” And I started bringing my lips closer to his lips.
Seeing me so close, Nishant immediately pushed me and said, "Sanjana!!
What are you doing man?" "Okay and what were you doing?", I said
laughing.
Hey what was I doing? Have you forgotten that when we were friends, we all used
to sit and watch TV together, then we used to touch anyone anywhere to harass
them. We used to do all this in college, didn't we all friends?", Nishant
said. "Yes Yes. You spoke as if all of us friends used to shake each
other's cocks.”, I also said laughing. Chi .. If you do something, I would not
be able to show my face to anyone. It’s okay.. Now don't do much drama. And for
your information, let me tell you that girls' boobs are not public property to
suppress them whenever they want. Now let's make a place for me..”, I spoke to
him and removed his hands from his chest and then started watching TV by
placing his head on his chest. He smiled too. Perhaps he had a proud smile. He
was glad that I was comfortable with her. It was also the first time for me
that an old friend of mine was talking so easily to me. Otherwise everyone else
would have looked at me as if they had smelled a snake. People are quite
judgmental but Nishant was not like that. “Okay Sanju… ask me one thing?”,
Nishant said. "Sanju? You even put my nickname. Well let's ask.", I
said. I said taking a sip of beer. "Tell me what your bra size is?"
The fascination that boys have with bras is not… they want to know everything
about bras. Well what can I say, I myself have always loved bras. I smiled and
looked at him and said, "Guess yourself." I gestured with my eyes as
if he already knew my size. “No way!”, he said in great enthusiasm, taking my
gesture. "Yes.", I said. Your size is 36C! You knew it was my
favorite size! Did you get this size done for me?", he said. "Come
on, crazy. Keeps talking about anything. Like you are everything to me. It all
depends on the hormones and the body. And by the way my size is still
increasing… Maybe it will increase till 36DD. That's why even this bra and
blouse are starting to look a bit tight.", I told her.
In fact my
bra and blouse started getting tight and I had to adjust it from time to time.
So seeing the opportunity, I started adjusting the bra strap a little by
putting a finger in my back from the bottom of the blouse and then keeping a
beer bottle on the side of my hand, putting my hand from inside the sari with
both hands, holding both the straps of my bra Shaking the boobs a little, she
started adjusting them in the bra cup and blouse. While doing this, I was
looking at my boobs and Nishant… he opened his mouth in surprise and was
watching me doing this.
Sanju… wow! Man you are looking very sexy while doing this. Don't do it
again.", he told me. “Nishu!”, I said showing him big eyes. “Hey for the
first time a girl has called me Nishu. You are injuring my heart one by one.
Seeing Nishu's actions, I also started laughing.
I loved
calling him Nishu and when he called me Sanju or Sanjana, I felt good too.
“Listen man… now please do some things other than my boobs. Look, here in the
match so many wickets have fallen so quickly. To save your team or not?”, I
said Yes you are right. Sorry man.", Nishant said. "Sorry for
what?" "For not paying attention to his team. and for what? Otherwise
why did I start saying sorry to you? It was you who was putting your hand on my
honor. "Please man, stop that joke now. It's not funny", I said.
After that, perhaps a few moments would have passed more peacefully and on the
other hand, the wickets of the Mumbai Indian team were going on falling in the
match. After watching Nishant's match, the interest was decreasing.
Sanjana.. tell me the truth for one thing?”, Nishant asked me. "Yes."
"You went on a date with a guy?" "No.", I said. "But
why? You are such a hot girl.” he said. Generally, many problems and questions
come for any transgender woman in dating a man. So it is not easy for them to
answer this question. But that was not the case with me. My reasons were
different. “Nishant… I have changed gender. The team has not changed.", I
said. Meaning?" "Mean you understand.” I said with a smile. "You
mean you're a lesbian!! Man, you are telling mind blowing things one by one.
I'm going crazy just thinking about it. You yourself are such a hot girl and
together with another hot girl. Umm…” "Just do it. Well tell me, have you
dated a girl?”, I said. "Now you are masquerading girls as a girl, so will
you sprinkle salt on my burn? If I had dated a girl, would I have frozen like a
stone idol by hugging you at the door?”
Oh man...
wait a bit. You will also find a good girl. By the way, you have become a
little golu molu, but girls find light golu molu boys cute.”, I said holding
his hand. “Rehne de yaar… All the girls say that you will also get a good
girl.” "Well... how many girls have told you this?" “One… but so many
things have happened till now only.”, Nishant was talking about me only.
Don't know why I kept looking in his eyes after hearing this. After all,
Nishant was the first person in the world who didn't even take a minute to
accept me as a girl. I was thankful to him. I wanted to hold him and hug him to
say thank you. But then Nishant starts doing some other prankster. He was not
bad but he did not understand the sentimentality of a woman. I just held his
hand in my hands.After looking at each other for a while, Nishant stood up from
the sofa and said, "Dude, this match has become very boring now. You
haven't even shown me your house till now." Before I could say anything,
Nishant got up and went towards my bedroom. Now I do not know what he was going
to do there, so I also ran after him handling my sari. I shouldn't have worn a
sari today! I started thinking in my mind.
Wow Sanjana… Your bedroom is so beautiful. How clean is it? When you lived with
me, you did not even have to put the sheets on your bed properly. And now
look…”, Nishant said. I would have been happy to hear from him but he was now
moving towards my wardrobe. And he also opened my cupboard. There used to be
just a pile of your clothes with me in a corner. You couldn't be so clean with
me, could you? How nice it would have been that you would have decorated my bed
and clothes too. I didn't get the slightest advantage of having a girl with
me." He started complaining. But when I was with him, the girl was not
there. it was my compulsion to live like a boy.
Dude... you have a sexy dress. You must have looked amazing wearing them.”,
Nishant was quickly looking at my wardrobe. I wanted to stop him but while
running after him, my foot fell on my sari and my plates were shattered. In
such a situation, Nishant saw me fixing my sari, it was better that he see my
clothes in my wardrobe. But this boy had no confidence what to say when. In the
end what I feared happened. He opened my drawer in the cupboard in which my bra
and panties were kept. And as soon as he saw them, his eyes lit up. “Wow… I
have got this treasure. So many sexy bras! Sanjana, your choice is sexy! Hmm…
this lacy bra… you must be wearing this for your girlfriend, wouldn’t you,” he
said, raising a bra in his hand.
Nishant… leave my bra.” "Oh, how can I stay like this? Got a chance for
the first time in life. I'm just watching. Hey what kind of bra is this? It
doesn't even have strap. How do you wear this?" “It works well for wearing
with strapless dresses. Will you keep it back or not…”, I was still doing my
saree properly. “Okay okay.. these are not big dramas for girls. Oh what is
this… such a tiny panty!”
Hey, God! I had already beaten my head. “Dude Sanjana… you are not too
sensitive. It is not that you did not see my briefs in college. I used to dry
in the room itself. Now if I see the clothes of you what will go wrong.
"At least don't tell my panties as briefs", I started thinking in my
mind. But by then his eyes had turned elsewhere. I had 2-3 baby dolls hanging
on one side in the cupboard. He held one of them in his hand and said, “Sanju…
you are a big naughty girl , please wear this for me.
Till now I had fixed the plate of my saree. I went to Nishant, snatching the
baby doll from his hand and keeping it back, said, "You come out of my
cupboard now." "Ok. There is a condition. Show me the bra you are
wearing now.", he said, pointing at my boobs, coming very close to me.
When I looked at him with big eyes, he said turning back, "Okay ma'am.
Don't show How many tantrums do you have? If I had become a girl in your place,
I would not happily show my bra for the sake of a friend. Bra would I even show
it wearing this babydoll?
Do you even know anything about them?”, I lied with anger. "I know I have
a complaint against you. You have so many sexy clothes in your wardrobe. And
when I came to you, you are wearing this aunt's sari. At least you should have
worn a sari a bit fashionable." "Why don't you like me in a
sari?", I asked with a smile.It's looking good. But it would be better if
you wear one of these sarees for me. … O Sanjana… Listen, man…why don’t you
wear one of these sarees,” Nishant said, pointing to my modern sarees.
"Why? am I your wife or your girlfriend? Who will change the sari at your
behest?”, I said. "You are not a girlfriend or a wife. But not less than
my girlfriend.", he said.
"How is that?"
See… there is only one girl in the whole world who has seen me wearing only
briefs. There is only one girl, you have slept next to me many times… in that
many times I did not even wear a shirt. More than that, even in my dreams no
girl does anything for me”, he said. I laughed after listening to him. Nishant
was not treating me like a woman at this time, but in his past memories, he was
treating me as a girl and not a boy.
Ok. If you are requesting so much, then for the sake of friendship, I change
the saree. Well, tell me which sari to wear.. Otherwise, I will say that I have
worn another aunt's sari.", I said looking at his eyes. I just said yes…
he hastily pulled out a sari from the cupboard. I had bought that saree only a
month back. It was a Georgette sari with a halter neck blouse with a deep back.
I took the sari from his hand and said that well I will come now after
changing. So he grabbed my hand and stopped me. “What is the need to go
somewhere? Why can't you change clothes here in front of me as before?"
Maybe I should have refused him for this. But I was behind him that we have to
be friends as before. I said, "Okay, but you sit on the bed and look over
there. Don't look at me or else I will go out" "Hey, if I look there,
how will I see your bra?", He said holding my arms.
Move out. A
wife also tells her husband to turn his back while changing clothes.”, I said
while pushing him affectionately. Was I behaving like his wife? Maybe yes. He
smiled and sat down on the bed. But I could not trust him. That's why I also
started taking off my blouse by turning in the opposite direction. Seeing my
cleavage and boobs in a bra, he should not be in a hurry.
As soon as I took off the blouse and placed it on the side, I suspected that he
was looking at me. The problem right now was that the color of the bra I was
wearing did not match with the other blouse I was wearing. So I have to change
my bra. I took out a matching bra from my drawer and started opening the hook
of the bra I was wearing. I was turning to Nishant and doing all this so that
he could not see my boobs. A woman would be so shy, wouldn't she? But as soon
as I opened my bra, I felt very ashamed. Somehow, hiding my breasts from my
arms, I started wearing another bra. I am sure Nishant must have got a glimpse
of my breasts. Don't know what he must be thinking? And then I hurriedly put on
a blouse and hooked it up and took off my sari. Now I was in blouse and
petticoat. And when I turned around and picked up the new matching petticoat, I
saw Nishant smiling looking at me. I immediately covered my chest with a
petticoat.
"I told you not to turn. I am leaving from here”, I said angrily.
"Dude.. Please don't go. Now if you change the petticoat, then the real
fun will come. "Nishant!", I scared him again, then he sat silent but
did not turn back. "So you want to see me change the petticoat.", I
said in a slightly sexy way, opening the hook of the petticoat. I also wanted
to tease him a little. And he quietly nodded his head yes.
I smiled and put my second petticoat on my head and took it down and wearing it
on top took off the old petticoat inside. Seeing me doing this, Nishant said,
"Oh this is a hoax!"
"Why did I change the petticoat in front of you or not", I laughed. I
don't know what the matter was but I was not afraid of Nishant. I believed that
he would not force anything with me. And then I started wearing a sari with
confidence. And he kept staring at me doing this. I don't know how happy it was
when someone was looking at me like this. I looked beautiful wearing her saree.
This was what made me happy too. And then as soon as I pinned my pallu to my
blouse, he came closer to me from behind me. He grabbed me by the arms and put
my pallu on my head and said, “You are a very beautiful girl, Sanjana. I am
telling the truth, I have never seen a beautiful girl like you.
After listening to him, the same thing happened to me that would have happened
to any girl. Hearing his praise, I bowed my eyes in shame. It is possible that
my face has also turned red from shame. But I was also thinking in my mind that
doing all this should not give any wrong message to Nishant. “Nishu… If you are
hungry then should we eat food?”, I asked him. "Oh goodie and he said.
Very hungry man. You haven't even fed me chips till now. With a friend who
comes home, someone does such a good thing.
Alright, I warm the food and put it on the table. Till then, take out a beer
from the fridge and drink it.", I said looking at him. And he happily
agreed. Now I had entered the kitchen and like a housewife, wrapping the pallu
of my sari around the waist, was heating the food on the stove. After a while,
Nishant's breath was felt on my back. He came after me but I was ignoring him.
And then he wrapped my waist with his hands.
"What happened now Nishant?", I said with a smile. Maybe I should
have been angry, but I don't know why I could feel his touch on my open waist.
"Nothing, just practicing." "What kind of practice?"
"That's when I have a wife, how will I hold her by the waist. And you are
also practicing. When I started leaning towards the vegetable while heating the
vegetable, then my hips were on Nishant's body. Yet somehow I asked him,
"What practice am I doing?"
"When you get married one day your husband will also hold you like this.
So you should also practice." After listening to him, I turned around in
his arms and said, “Nishant… I am a lesbian! I will not be a husband but a
wife." At this time both of us were very close. My breasts were pressing
against Nishant's chest. He looked into my eyes… “Husband or wife… but no one
would like to catch a beautiful girl like you.”
You have started talking a lot. I can't believe that even after such a line,
you will not have a girlfriend.”, I relieved myself from him and turned to look
at the vegetable again. And he too went back and sat on the table. Was there
some feeling in my heart for Nishant? It was not possible. He was my friend…
and I only liked girls. Whatever was going on in my mind, I heated the food and
brought it on the table. And then both of us sat down and ate the food. I had
made paneer and biryani which Nishant liked very much. We both kept talking for
a long time while eating. about your work. I still haven't told him anything
about my gender change and he hasn't asked either. It felt good just doing
normal things. “Sanjana.. The food was very good. After a week, I have eaten
good food at home. Ah, now I sleep after eating. I will sleep for a while
now.", he said while yawning. "Yeah, I'm sleeping too. I sleep
too.", I said.
And then on seeing me, Nishant got up and went to my bedroom and lay on my bed.
He didn't even ask me! Nishant was also not just like other bachelor boys. I
went and gave him a sheet to cover and told him, "You sleep comfortably
here. I will sleep outside on the sofa." It has a bed that comes
out."
I was about
to turn and leave the room when I felt some stretch in my pallu. Nishant was
pulling the pallu of my sari. "Where are you going man? You forgot, in
college, 8-10 boys used to drink beer and sleep together by adding 2 beds. Now
here is such a big double bed. You also go to sleep, where you will keep
opening the sofa bed next to it. "No Nishant. I have no problem sleeping
outside." “Man, you have changed a lot there was sadness in Nishant’s
voice.
For the first time since his arrival in the morning, Nishant showed sadness at
the change of his friend. I didn't want to make him sad like that. "What
man Nishant? You are also not less than girls in doing drama. Okay, this is how
I sleep.” I said while handling my pallu, sitting next to him. He smiled a bit
after listening to me. I was also happy seeing his smile. Then I raised my feet
and placed them on the bed. And covering them with a sari, turning the pallu
aside and showing my back towards Nishant, started sleeping.
It is said that friendship in college is the most special. Good friends of
college meet even after years, even if they have never spoken, no matter how
many other changes happen in these years, it does not take any time for two
friends to become friends together. Everything goes as before. It was the same
for me. Nishant hadn't changed at all for me… and was the same today.
But for Nishant? His friend Chetan had changed so much. Today, when he was
looking at his friend, instead of Chetan, there was a woman wrapped in a sari
who was sleeping with her face turned. There was a distance between the two.
Nishant did not know what was he thinking seeing that woman? Was he looking for
his friend Sanjay in him? Or was that woman's naked back in a deep back blouse
provoking him in another way? Was he seeing a woman? I had no idea what Nishant
was thinking.
My eyes were closed when Nishant put his hand on my waist from behind. He was
coming closer to me. For some time his hand remained on my waist and we both
kept our eyes closed. But then his hand got up and started moving towards my
blouse and then… he started pressing my breasts once again.
Perhaps Nishant was trying to do mischief once again. But he cannot do this
with a woman. I tolerated for a while that maybe he would stop. But when he
didn't stop, I got up in anger… “Bas kar na yaar Nishant. You can't respect me?
I am a woman… a woman! In your eyes, I have become a strange sex object that
you can touch whenever you want. If you cannot respect me as a woman, then
leave this drama of friendship. Like others, you too walk away from my life by
calling me good and bad. But don't use me as a sexy thing like this.", I
cried with emotion.
I'm treating you like a sex object, Sanjana? And do you remember how you
treated me? We were best friends in college! 4 year old roommate. Even after
you came to the US, we used to talk every other day. And 2 years ago one day suddenly
you disappeared. Neither on the phone nor on Facebook nor on email. Used to
call me best friend and never even told that you are going to become Sanjana
from Chetan. Do you know how I came to know about you? 1.5 years ago, there
were boys from our college high society…whom we used to make fun of together…they
told me. He told me. He was laughing at me how I didn't know that my best
friend was turning into a girl. Do you know what kind of dirty things he used
to say?
Used to say
that I was Chetan's first boyfriend. Perhaps Chetan must have been excitedly masturbating
on seeing me without a shirt in the room. Used to ask me did I ever have sex
with Chetan? I had no idea in all these years that you will become such a girl
one day. So what and how does he answer all of them. I had become a topic of
laughter for everyone. The things you used to talk about were different. You
didn't tell your best friend about your gender change… and told those boys who
don't respect you at all. And today you are talking to me about friendship?
Today it is suddenly getting in this form… and I do not even know how when did
you do this? My use is your consciousness. And by using you threw me out of
your life 2 years ago. Why have you called me now?"
There was sorrow in Nishant's words, and there was also pain. At this point I
was crying myself. I held his hand and said, "I am telling the truth
Nishant, I did not tell anybody about this in college. I had lost contact with
everyone because no one could understand me. That's why I didn't even tell you.
I don't know how those boys came to know about me. Only Rashmi knew about me.
Trust me Nishant. There was not even a day when I did not think that I should
call you and tell everything. But I didn't know how you would react. you were
my best friend What would I do if you broke my friendship? Without talking to
you, at least in my memories, you have always been my best friend, haven't you?
Tell me, was I doing wrong? When Rashmi told me that you have come to the US, I
still wanted to stay away from you, but I could not stay away and called you…
that's the only mistake I made.”, and I started crying after moving away from
Nishant.
Both of us now realized that it was all a misunderstanding between us due to
not talking but tears were not taking the name of stopping from my eyes. Then
Nishant pulled me up to him and took me in his arms. He wiped my tears while
moving his hand on my head. And after a while my sobs subsided a bit, he said
to me, "I can't believe it." "Can't believe it?", I was
still on his chest. “Till now I had seen in the movies that if you hug a crying
girl, she becomes silent. I used to think that all this happens only in movies...
But it really happens!”, and he started laughing. I also started laughing and
showing the anger of lying face on his chest, he turned shy after hitting him
with love with the punch.
Come on, you are so shy. This used to happen in movies too! How real are
movies? I should watch more films”, Nishant's clown had started once again. I
smiled and turned to him and said, "Dude, you laugh and cry too. But I am
telling the truth… I am still sleeping. Shall we both sleep for a while?"
He also said yes.
And we both slept side by side. I slept with my head on Nishant's shoulder with
my back to him and his hand was on my waist. He was sleeping completely clinging
to me from behind… but this time I had gone to him on my own free will. I felt
safe in his arms. He was my friend. I had no fear of him. Our friendship was
growing once again. But was it going to grow beyond friendship? I did not have
the answer to this.. And neither did Nishant…
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