The Landlord by: Riya

I had recently graduated and moved to a new city for a Job. Initially, for few days the accommodation was provided by the company. After that I had to search for a new place for rent. Most of my colleagues were planning to stay together on room sharing basis but I wanted a private place. You see, I had a special hobby or you could say a peculiar habit, I was able to really enjoy myself sexually only when I was dressed as woman.

Being from a Sikh family meant I got to keep long illustrious hair under my turban. My sister who was two years older had almost the same hair length, but her hairs were always exposed to various chemicals and pollution. My hairs were always protected under my turban. Apart from that god had blessed me with very slim figure and only a few patches of light hair in the name of a beard. Yes, as you might have guessed, this arrangement made me a matter of joke amongst my male classmates, some of whom had thick beard since last 10 years and they bullied me, called me various names etc. As a knee jerk reaction it bothered me especially when they did it in front of girls but after my anger subsided I never cared because whenever I was alone at house, I tried my sister's clothes and because of my lean figure I managed to get in almost all of them except of course the chest part where I lacked.

We had the same built and I started wearing her bra whenever I had a chance. I used to plan and get into the washroom for bathing immediately after her because she left her undergarments there. I used to lock the door, and wear the bras, I used to feel sad that the bra was not full with my own breasts but I used to make it up with hankies and socks etc. After wearing the bra I used to tuck my dick between my legs and wear her soft panties which were so smooth. After wearing them, my dick slowly used to get erect. I used to open my turban and I let my hairs open. I used to stare at my girly reflection and rub my body for pleasure.

Few times I had accidently stained her clothes so over time I became an expert in keeping them untainted. whenever I washed my hairs, I used to wear the bra and panties again and a I combed my hairs in front of the mirror like a girl just like my mother and sister did. That time was the best time of the day for me. I used to get this kick in the morning and my whole day didn't matter. My mother used to taunt me for taking a long time in washroom but it was worth it. As my sister joined college and started going out with boys, I started having more options to try. On Sundays she would always go out with her friends and I had the room to myself.

Both of our parents worked at gurudwara on Sundays and I had the house to myself to hone my skills. I used to take her vanity box in the washroom and did makeup also. I used to apply foundation, eyeliner, lipstick and I wore her bangles in hand and anklets in legs. I used to walk in the room like a girl, make various girly poses and talk to myself like a girl. I pouted and flicked my wrists like a girl and took selfies. It made me so excited and my dick used to get so hard. After jerking off I always removed everything and kept it in its place. My sister got married and moved to Canada during the last year of my graduation. I had a difficult time in practicing my hobby during that time as the idiot took almost all of her clothes. I tried my mother's clothes but she was too fat and her clothes were like a clothing bag for me. I needed clothes which fit me. I was only able to take out my sister's leftover clothes on Sundays when I was alone and then too there was no jewellery or makeup as my mother was very careful about her things. Her vanity box was in her cupboard with the keys always on her waist.

So there was no chance of getting it while she was there. So when I had the option of selecting a company after graduation, I deliberately chose the one furthest from home as I wanted to live alone. I wanted no disturbance in my daily ritual. As expected, my room search was taking longer than usual; I couldn't afford a complete flat with my initial salary so I was looking for some single room arrangement. I looked through many such single houses but there was always some issue like the landlord having a direct view at my window or door or not enough storage or the washroom being shared etc. I needed my privacy. Finally after much effort, I found an advertisement in newspaper where a couple was looking for a single bachelor guy to rent the penthouse of their villa.

The next morning I took an uber and started for the location, it was a bit far away and the area seemed to be very posh. There were villas with high boundary walls lined with tall ashoka or eucalyptus trees to offer complete privacy. There was no traffic also. The uber dropped me at the huge gate which had a camera and a bell. I pushed it and told that I was there to see the room. The automatic door unlatched and made a sound. I pushed it and went inside. There was a beautiful garden with landscaping; a beautiful pathway was designed till the porch of the villa. I could see that this was a very rich couple. I saw Mr. Reddy was sitting in his armchair. When he noticed me he got up and walked out towards me with the newspaper in his hands. He shook my hands and called me inside. He asked me some basic details during our short walk till his drawing room like name, company etc. and told about the property. He told that although they didn't need to rent it out as money was not the issue but they wanted some company. Also there were periods when they had to go on trips and they wanted someone whom they could trust and who could take care of the property in their absence.

Some guards had tried to misbehave or misuse their properties so they didn't trust them. I pretended to agree with him. On entering the house, I noticed that there was young attractive but plump lady in the open kitchen next to drawing room busy cooking. He introduced me to her and told me she was Jaya, his wife. I wondered why the lady of such a big house was cooking herself. I apologized for interrupting their breakfast and told them I could wait outside but the lady in her sweet voice asked me to join them for breakfast. I tried to refuse but they insisted. Me and Mr Reddy sat on the dining table. He told me that there would be some background verification done to ensure that I had never been in any kind of trouble. He told me that being a lawyer he did all these things to ensure his safety. I was ok with it. I requested him to show me the property and he promised to show it after the breakfast. Soon his wife told that breakfast was ready. I got up for helping her serve which brought a smile on her beautiful face, she seemed very sweet. I was able to observe her closely while helping her serve the breakfast. She was very beautiful, she had a fair complexion, she was wearing a low cut sleeveless blouse and while working her saree moved around showing me glimpses of her huge breasts. She had tied her hair in a neat bun with some jewellery attached to the pin. Few strands of her hair came on her face while working and she flicked them using her fingers to the back of her hairs.

She had a few golden bracelets on each hand and a big diamond ring on index finger and she was wearing full makeup with a large red bindi on her forehead and a golden chain along with three layered mangalsutra which had a diamond pendent at the bottom. She wore the mangalsutra over her saree and it was resting on her boobs. She wore a domed jhumkas in ears which had a few golden chains attached to her bun. She was wearing heels and her perfume was completely intoxicating.

I kept switching my views between her and Mr Reddy to ensure that he doesn't catch me staring at his gorgeous wife. After the breakfast he took me to the penthouse, Jaya almost had the same height as me i.e. around 5'6" while Mr Reddy towered above us, he would have been a minimum 6'2". We reached upstairs where he unlocked the door. It was a furnished two room apartment with kitchen and washroom. One room had attached kitchen while the other had the washroom. I noticed the rooms were large and spacious. There was enough space for me to catwalk in a saree. I also noticed that in the inner room both cupboards were full. On asking Jaya told me that it was her stuff which she rarely used and she was planning to donate it once she found a suitable charity. She hoped that I would not mind letting it be there. I told her not to worry as I had very little luggage. There was a huge full size mirror next to the washroom.

I liked everything about the place and told Mr Reddy that I loved his apartment and would like to give the token amount immediately. In my excitement I forgot to ask him about the rent.

"But Mr. Singh, you haven't asked about the rent amount."

"Oh sorry Mr Reddy, in my excitement I forgot, please tell me and please call me Simranpreet or Simran."

"It is 6 thousand per month."

I couldn't believe it. I asked him again to be sure I was hearing correctly

"Yes 6 thousand and if you think its high then I would include the electricity and water bill too in it."

Mr Reddy seemed to be out of mind in renting out such a nice apartment for such fewer amounts. Before he could change his mind I said "yes please" and closed the deal with him with a firm handshake.

His hands were solid as a rocked.

Jaya screamed "Yeah, welcome new neighbour!!"

I also laughed and we came out. Mr. Reddy said that he had a few requests from his side. Firstly he would appreciate if I didn't have any guests, secondly the apartment should always be kept clean and no maids shall be allowed. He said that previous customers had not accepted or not kept up with these promises so they had to get the apartment vacated. I readily accepted those conditions. We shook hands and I paid two months rents as security and 1 month rent as an advance. He handed me the keys. I went to the hotel and got my two suitcases, came back and started settling in. I had office on the next day and I wanted to setup the kitchen immediately. I got some stuff. I was a good cook and the place had a refrigerator so I out went to the market in evening and stocked up stuff for the whole week. While coming back I saw them at the gate waiting for me. Mr Reddy told me that they were going to a party. I noticed that Jaya had changed into a hot indo- western red coloured maxi dress with embroidery. She was wearing a pearl necklace with single pear tops in both years along with some handcuff in her right hand. Her long hairs were open and she carried a small purse.

Mr Reddy was dressed in a suit. Jaya smiled at me. I wanted to be in her dress at that moment. I waved at them as they got in their Mercedes and left. I envied their lifestyle already. I came back to the apartment and arranged the kitchen; I cooked a lite dinner and crashed on the bed. All I could think of at that time was Jaya. She had an air of femininity around her which I never noticed in my mother or sister. I wanted to emulate her. I wished I had some clothes to try out her ways but I had no stuff at that moment and a thought crossed my mind to take something from her cupboard. I went to her cupboard and noticed that she had all kinds of dresses including Indian and western clothes, some footwear and even some accessories like hair bands, bead necklaces, hair clutches and some artificial jewellery. In other cupboard I found similar stuff but there were a few drawers also. I opened them to find some panty hose, garter belts and undergarments.

I felt that it was a heavenly gift for me. I wished to wear that stuff immediately but I was afraid to touch her stuff on the first day itself. I needed to wait and check if she ever came and checked her stuff. If she was like my sister who never cared or like my mother who would know immediately that someone had touched her stuff. I planned to wait for the perfect opportunity. With a heavy heart, I closed the cupboards and went to washroom and masturbated just by imagining myself in her clothes. It took longer than usual and not very exciting but it did make me sleepy which was good. The next day I got up and went to office. While leaving I noticed Mr Reddy having his tea in the veranda and imagined Jaya inside.

I wished to see what she was wearing today but it didn't feel right so I just waved at Mr. Reddy and left. Office was usual and I came back in evening. I noticed there was some south Indian music playing in their house. There was also a sound of anklet bells which was in perfect sync with the music. I imagined that Jaya was dancing. I wished I could go and see her. Mr Reddy's car was not there so I just sneaked around the gate and windows but it seemed she was not in the hall. I went a little bit inside and I noticed Jaya dancing, she was dressed in traditional bharat natyam costume with nose rings on both sides, jewellery on hair and a tightly wrapped saree. I lost track of time standing there and wishing I was her. It was only when she caught me staring at her that my spell broke.

"Hey, Mr Singh, can I help you?"

"Oh, nothing, I just came .. I was not watching you.. err.. I mean sorry madam, is Mr Reddy there, I needed to ask him some questions."

She laughed at my silly answer and said "No he is at work, since how long are you standing here?"

"Well, just a few mins, I was watching you dance, it was very beautiful, you are so graceful."

She smiled shyly, I loved her smile and her mannerisms, the way she turned her hair and moved neck to the side. I thought it was right moment to ask the question:

"Madam, if you don't mind can you help me in buying some clothes for my sister and mother, I am new here and I want to send gifts for them from my first salary."

She readily agreed and I told her we will go as soon as I get my salary. After that I came back to my room.

Rest of the week was quiet, I settled into that place slowly. Sundays used to be boring as no friends were allowed, I spent the time mostly browsing for dresses online on myntra etc .

One such Sunday I was planning to order and had added to cart some undergarments and kurti. I wanted it to be special since it had been a long time but I also wanted it to be cheap. I was also looking at some artificial clip on jewellery for my ears and nose with a bead necklace. I was lost in these when I heard the main door open. I was lying on the bed in the main room lost in mobile, I looked up and it was Jaya.

"Oh sorry, I was planning to knock but door was open."

The whole room got filled with her fragrance; she was wearing a simple pink saree with a black border. Her blouse was also black with golden spots. I was taken by surprise but it was a nice one.

"Your hairs are beautiful Simran, they are longer than mine, and they seem so voluminous and shiny. In fact they seem better than mine."

Shit, I forgot I was not wearing a turban as it was Sunday and I was planning to put some oil in my hairs before washing them but laziness took over. I needed to react soon as she was coming towards me.

"Thanks, I have never cut them" I said while putting the ones on my shoulder towards my back and trying to tie them into a bun. Jaya lifted her hand and ran her fingers through my hairs.

"Yes, your hairs seem so silky, sorry I can't stop running my fingers through them"

She stroked my hairs gently. "I feel like giving them a nice girly hairstyle, maybe one day you should let me play with your hair if you don't mind."

I wanted to scream out and say yes and make her give me new hairstyles every day but all I could manage was a low pitched denial in a confused sentence.

"Oh no, I am not supposed to keep them open in front of you... I should put them in a turban, I was planning to wash them... but its Sunday.. so I forgot and got lost in mobile.. and..aa.. Where is my turban?"

I started to look for it nervously, but it was nowhere to be found. Jaya was laughing under her breath at my situation.

"Ha-ha, don't worry dear, I won't give you any hair style today itself. And whenever I do it shall be a secret between Simran and Jaya. Now, I have to go to a function and I wanted to wear a dress which is in your cupboard."

I loved the way she called me 'Simran' and referred to cupboard as "my cupboard", as if all those clothes belonged to me, as if it was a signal from her to try all those clothes.

After that she went and opened the cupboard. She opened a suitcase kept at bottom, it was a bit heavy and she was struggling with it so I offered to help and I lifted up and kept it on bed. She opened it and it had some of the most expensive south Indian sarees I had ever seen. She started explaining to me that those 3 were samudrika pattu silk sarees. She told me it was a type of special silk made there only. I listened to her explaining all those details; I kept wishing that I could wear them somehow. She finally selected one and kept the remaining inside.

After telling me all the details she commented: "Wow Simran, your eyes are lit up, for a boy, you seem to be quite interested in these. When I tell all these details to my husband he starts yawning".

I just gave a silly smile while she closed the suitcase and before she could lift it I told her that I would keep it back. She smiled and just took the saree and left. I waited for her to climb down the steps and locked the door. I checked the window curtains and went for the suitcase. It was still on the bed. There was keypad lock but she had not changed it. I opened it immediately and took out the saree on top. I noticed it was neatly ironed and kept. Now, it had been months since I had worn something feminine. I just took out the saree and kept the soft fabric against my face. My eyes started filling up with tears; I immediately removed all my clothes and put on the petticoat. I wore the blouse but it was very loose so I filled it up with some socks. I paced around like a young south Indian girl in blouse and petticoat for few mins just to enjoy the feeling. I opened the saree and started wearing it. It felt really amazing as it began to shape up, the pleats were very hard to make as the saree was heavy but I was a seasoned expert, thanks to years of practice on my sister's clothes.

After finishing the pleats I pulled out some safety pins and tied it. I kept the pallu over my shoulder and adjusted it. I put a few safety pins near the shoulder. Finally, I saw my reflection in the mirror and my body almost mirrored jaya apart from the breasts and hips. My manly face with patches of beard was the only exception. I started making braids in my hairs and after 30 mins I was a perfect south Indian girl with two braids which reached her hips. I just needed some ribbons to tie at the end and some jewellery.

I suddenly remembered there was some jewellery in the other cupboard and since Jaya had already said that it was "my cupboard" so all the stuff belonged to me only. I tried to stop myself but before I knew the box was on the bed but there were no clip on earrings. There were jhumkas, nose pins, kamarband, anklets, bangles and necklaces. I put on some bangles and to my surprise they slide through my hands easily. It seemed jaya also had large hands like me. I put on the anklets on my feet but I noticed it had gotten a bit hairy. I took out my razor and shaved them immediately; also I added some wax cream to shopping list. I put on the kamarband and looked at my reflection. I could give a competition to Jaya in figure if I was a real girl. I walked around in the room, the anklets and bangles were making sweet sounds, and it was music to my ears. The silk gave me such a good feeling. After so many days, I sat in front of the mirror and smiled at my reflection. I kept different jhumkas and earrings on my ears just to see how they would look. I found one large domed jhumka which could be tied over the ear and I managed to loop them on my ears. I wore a matching gold necklace and took a selfies.

I loved what I was seeing. It made my penis hard as a rock. I went to the washroom and had one of the best orgasms ever. In this process I ruined the ironing at few places but I was planning to get it dry cleaned and ironed before she could notice again. I took off all the clothes and jewellery and kept it back neatly. I folded the saree properly and kept it at the bottom of suitcase and stashed it away. It was a dream coming true for me. I wish there was nightie in which I could change and sleep. I sorted through the collection and found out few dresses and lehenga which I was sure she wouldn't wear much and I could try them on. However I missed the makeup items and I desperately waited for salary to come so I could go full throttle and become the babe I wanted to be.

At the end of 1 month my wait was over and salary was credited. I immediately went to a shoppers stop and brought some makeup stuff. Of course I told the girl at the counter that it was for my girlfriend but seeing me a bit choosy and taking time in selecting she commented "Sir your shopping patterns is just like a girl"

I felt a bit awkward but it was my money and I wanted to choose the best dress for myself. I choose a magenta lipstick, eyeliner, a foundation matching my skin tone etc. After shopping for these things I went and brought some bangles and a couple of dangling earrings. I also brought a top and a skirt. I was so happy after the shopping and I couldn't wait to try all these things. As I came back that day I met my landlord and Jaya while entering.

They seemed very happy and were laughing amongst themselves. I went near and asked them: "You guys seem elated, any special occasion."

"Yes Simran, today is the day our prayers have been answered. After trying for 7 years I am pregnant."

"Oh that's great news Jaya, congratulations to you and Mr Reddy" I congratulated them and moved ahead but Jaya noticed my bag.

"Hey what have you got from Maybelline?"

I was caught I thought and my face went pale. I mumbled "It’s for my sister; I have brought gifts for my family members from my first salary."

"Oh how sweet Simran."

I felt relieved. That was some good thinking on feet by me but my facial expressions might have given me away. I came back to my room and relaxed. I took of my turban and let my hairs loose. I could not stop myself from starting the makeup routine. My hands took out the foundation and soon I was applying eyeliner and lipstick. I wore the skirt and top and moved around my apartment like a model, swaying my hips. I noticed I was missing footwear and I remembered Jaya had kept some in her cupboard in my room. I took out one sandal and wore it. I was feeling very feminine and aroused. I stuffed my bra with all my socks to give myself the look of a well-endowed woman. I then planned to cook dinner while being dressed. I imagined I was a housewife cooking for my husband who would come late at night. I kept some music and started cutting vegetables. I paced around like a wife and loved the song of bangles on my hand and the nail polish. I wanted to keep my feminine hands like that forever. I thought about Jaya being a mother and how lucky would their kid be. I had my dinner and changed into a nighty and masturbated. After that I felt too tired to remove the nail polish and slept just like that. Few months passed, I continued my routine. One Sunday morning I heard some knocking on the door. I was terrified as I still had nail polish on and there was no time to change and remove the nail polish. I panicked and rushed to the washroom. I was desperately searching for the remover when I realized I had forgotten to buy one. I felt really silly and stupid now. I had no gloves too and there was no way I could think. The knock on the door was persistent for a while and it went silent after 5 mins. My phone rang and I could see it was Mr Reddy. I picked up:

"Hey Simran, are you not at home, I am at your door. We are leaving for the few weeks as I am going to drop Jaya to her parents’ house."

"Oh sorry, I was taking a bath and didn't hear knock."

"For a guy you take a long bath." "Oh I was washing my long hairs as today is a holiday, it takes a long time as we Sikhs cannot cut them."

"Yeah ok, I Just needs to give you the keys. Just open the door for a minute...”

"Sorry it would be a little late, I am taking a bath, can you just leave them outside the gate, and I will collect them in a while."

He hung up after that. I didn't know what to do. I just changed into shorts and opened the gate and I was shocked to see him still there. I stretched out my palm so that he couldn't see my nails but it was difficult. I hid my other hand behind the door.

"Sorry the room is mess just give me the keys."

He had a smug smile on his face. I kept the palm straight keeping the nails down but as he dropped the keys my thumb lifted and showed the nail.

I saw a glow in his eyes and he had a wicked smile.

I closed the door on his face and collapsed on the ground. I had never been caught before like this, not even by my sister or mother, I felt so stupid. I thought of finding a new place immediately and moving out before he was back. I went inside and started searching for flats. As I typed on keyboard I hated my nail polish. I searched for ways to remove it without a nail polish remover and found it could be done by toothpaste. I felt even sillier that I couldn't even do a simple google search to remove it. It was just my luck; I couldn't find a better flat. I calculated the money I had left and knew I would not be able to afford the deposit required for a new flat. I had no other option but for wait for Reddy to be back.

Reddy came back on the third day from the event, although he had told me a week. I saw his car while entering. I went up and found out he was sitting near the stairs of my flat.

"Oh look, Simran is back, the name suites you so much now. I wondered why a guy was named Simran."

"It’s Simranpreet and there are many guys in Punjab with this name" I blabbered

"Now don't be angry dear. I see you have a feminine side. I want you to know that I support it. I want you stop hiding it from now onwards."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you know Jaya would be gone for some time now, it’s just you and me. I would prefer to keep coming back home to a beautiful woman in this big house."

"Oh no, I... I… I don't want to be a woman. I j… just like the clothes. I love women ...in fact I am a cis male." "Well too bad for you, I don't want to force you but I know you dress up for pleasure. Isn't it true?"

"Yes", I said with my head bowed down. I couldn't look into his eyes.

"But I do it for myself only, please give me a month I will leave your flat. I beg you not to tell anyone."

"Oh no, I don't want you to leave. Next time whenever you do just call me, I don't mind you using the clothes that Jaya has kept in your room."

"But it is too awkward for me, I have never dressed in front of anybody else. I am sorry I cannot do it."

"Too bad, you would look beautiful."

"Please Mr Reddy, I am sorry, I never thought I would be caught, don't tell my family."

I almost had a tear in my eye.

"Let’s see... Hmm... Well. I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Let me offer you something to show I am interested.. I would skip the rent for this month if you do dress up for me."

I immediately said no but I thought about the money for a few moments, I could save and use it to move out to a new flat. I could dress up in one of Jaya's sarees. I was a bit puzzled when he spoke again.

"Simran just try it once, if we both don't like it we will stop it."

I shyly said ok and lowered my head and nodded.

"Great see you in 2 hrs."

"What? I need to do it tonight?"

"Yes I don't want to keep you waiting, let's just get it over with. I will go and change and come back in 2 hrs. Make a light meal and wear something homely for tonight. See you."

He went away. I was still processing what had happened. With a deep regret and heavy heart I started thinking of what meal to make. Just a few days I was pretending to be a housewife and today it was real. I was really nervous; it seemed my future was in Reddy's hand, I felt silly for agreeing to his stupid plan. It felt more like a trap now. It was a tough time for me. On one hand I had to cook and on other I had to get ready. I didn't want to fail in both. So I started with basics, I prepared dough and lentils and prepared the curry for food and took a bath. I took out a fresh pair of red bra and panty and wore it quickly. He had said to dress homely so I went for a simple look. I tied my hair into a bun and opened cupboard. Jaya had a beautiful red and yellow saree and I wore it quickly with its blouse and petticoat. I wore a large ring in middle finger of my left hand and applied a fresh coat of red nail polish. I wore some white bangles in hurry as I didn't have time to colour coordinate. I applied some lipstick, wore a bindi and wore two lockets, a white beaded one which was short and a gold chain which came till my breasts, few things like colour of blouse and saree were not a perfect match but I thought what Reddy would know about these things. I prepared some chapattis and prepared some salad. I was giving it final touches when the bell rang and my heart stopped. It took a lot of courage and almost 3-4 times the doorbell rang before I could open the door. He had changed into a casual pant and half shirt and was staring at me top to bottom with same smug on his face. I couldn't look into his eyes and kept staring at the floor. I saw that he had brought a wine bottle with him.

"Oh god, I can’t believe it is you!!"

"Please come inside," I shyly said.

"My pleasure, Simran you look so great."

"Thanks, dinner is ready. You take a seat on the bed as I don't have a dining table."

"Yes sure, it’s just like bachelor days for me, but with a girl this time." He winked.

"Oh please I am just a boy with a hobby."

"Simran, please don't remind me of your other life right now. I want to enjoy this experience."

"But aren't you cheating with Jaya."

"Ha-ha, not unless I we hook up."

I was a bit shocked, I hadn't thought about this. I was a guy, why would he want to fuck me. But I looked at him; he could easily overpower me and force me to have sex with him. I felt so powerless at that instant. I wanted all of it to get over quickly so I went to kitchen and served dinner. I served him first and sat beside him while he ate. He invited me to join him and asked me to eat from the same plate. I felt ashamed when my bangle filled hands made sweet noises when I touched my plate for food. He tried explaining me about his work, but it was too technical for me, he asked about my family. I also asked him about Jaya and other things. After the casual chat I felt a bit relaxed and comfortable. The only thing that made me worry was a bit of sexual tension. I felt it, while talking to me he kept staring at my chests or lips and even held my hand a few times. After the dinner was over, I cleaned up and he casually sat on bed watching his phone. I came back and sat in a corner, by now I was tired and expected him to go so that I could change back into my comfortable clothes. Bra straps had started to itch because of the kitchen heat and I wanted to get out of them quickly but I couldn't ask him to leave.

He looked up and said, "Oh you are back, I really enjoyed today."

"Thanks, hope the dinner was ok."

"Yes it was fine, quite homely."

"Listen Simran, I really feel we clicked tonight. Let’s make a pact, till Jaya comes back, I want you to dress up every Saturday night and you can live rent free and enjoy your hobby."

"Mr Reddy, I really thank you for the offer but please I feel a bit puzzled by all this. We both know that I am a boy beneath these clothes and I don't want to give you a wrong idea, I admire you as a person but I don't feel attracted," I poured my heart out.

"Wow, call me Ravi and yes it's a bit awkward but technically in this way I am not cheating, I just enjoy your feminine side and I want to do it for few months."

"Please give me a few days."

"Simran, don't think too much, give me your hand."

He extended his hand and I let out my left hand which he held tightly.

"I won’t hurt you or blackmail you; I like you as a woman."

He pulled me close, our faces were very near and I couldn't look him in the eye and kept starting downwards. A part of me wanted to pull apart and run but I just couldn't do anything He bent his face forward and I felt that he was coming for my lips and I turned my face sideward and he kissed my left cheek.

 "Oh you silly girl."

He let out a laugh.

"Ok, I am leaving now. Make some butter chicken next time."

I was flustered and kept looking away. He got up and left with a big grin while I sat for a while contemplating my future.

I avoided him all week. On Tuesday night he called me down and introduced me to his tailor who took my measurements. He was an old bearded guy who was smiling all the time, he touched me inappropriately but what could I do. Reddy stood and smiled on one side.

Soon it was the dreaded Saturday again, in afternoon he came with a big brown bag which had everything required for dinner. He had even left a note with the recipe and made a little heart at the end of it. Since I was wearing shorts and t-shirt at that time, he gave me a confused look and I knew he didn't like it and left quickly. I was going through the recipe when the bell rang again and he shouted from outside.

"Sorry missed your dress, leaving it outside."

I waited for him to leave and went out to check, It was green lehenga with flowery design with a transparent chunni with a similar border. The blouse was sleeveless and light red. Matching kundan earrings and maangtika with big golden bangles were there. I felt excited on seeing the dress but the man in me was furious. It felt forced that I had to dress up for a man now. The woman in me in 7th heaven though, she loved the fabric. It was the first time that I had a dress custom made for me. It was a constant battle in my mind between the urge to crossdress and fear of being trapped. I admired the beautiful embroidery on bangles. I tried them on and went to a mirror. A turbaned guy with bangles, I definitely looked cute. I went and applied some nail polish and waited it to dry. I decided to cook wearing bangles and nail polish.

It was really sweet; I kept admiring my beautiful feminine hands. I wanted to cook all day. The only thing bugging me was a constant voice telling me that 'You are a man, dammit, cooking for another man, be ashamed of yourself. Be a man; remember what is between your legs and so on.' The voice was a constant reminder but soon the sight of clothes and jewellery used to take over. I started fighting the voice, whenever it burdened me, I used to add another item, like after marinating chicken I opened my hair, after cutting onions I wore earrings and so on. Doing all this resulted in dinner being cooked almost two hours before the time. I went and took a hot shower. I shaved my legs and hands and got ready. I wore the lehenga and blouse.

The tailor had done a fine job. It was like the clothes were hugging me and giving me nice curvy looks instead of just hanging around me. I felt aroused looking at my body. I tucked the excited little boy part and put a tape over it. I got dressed and started with makeup part. Soon there were no traces left of any manliness. Inner man felt humiliated beyond repair but the woman in me couldn't remove the constant smile from her face, admiring herself.

I got dolled up and waited for Reddy. The part where I dressed up was always an enjoyable experience but the part where I had to play a woman to another man was always difficult. I had never experience it before reddy, it was a bit humiliating like offering your body to someone, getting ready so that he finds you beautiful, the lust that I saw last time in his eyes had made me very uncomfortable, I had always taken dressing up as an enjoyable experience but it brought out a completely different worldview after Reddy caught me. I was not ready to be a woman, a lot of introspection and acceptance was still required to become a woman.

He came a little late and looked worried. He looked at me for a moment his face lit up. He came and hugged me for a long time. He whispered that you look beautiful into my ear and kissed my cheeks again. But somehow I felt he was not very happy.

"Is everything all right, you look sad..."

"It’s just that Jaya's pregnancy has become very complicated. Dr. had called and told me that it is a very difficult case due to position of baby inside Jaya."

"Oh, so sad, I will pray for them."

"Aren't you sweet?"

He hugged me tightly and lifted me. It was an amazing feeling being lifted by a man in a saree. You feel wrapped by femininity and secure in arms of another man. If only I was a woman. He saw the frown on my face and asked what is wrong.

"The man in me feels bad Mr Reddy; I don't know what is right."

"It is complicated for you, I don't want to suggest but you look much better as a woman. If you choose to go full nelson, I am sure you won't have to work 1 day in your life, men will fight over you."

 "Yeah I can pass but I will never be able to give them what a woman can."

"There are women who can't reproduce dear, you can adopt."

"I know but it feels like freak shows sometimes, guess I still have a long way to go mentally before I take any decision."

"Yes it is your life, I feel like I am cheating on Jaya right now after seeing you. You look every bit like a girl, listen I am not in mood of anything now, just want to hold your hand and watch a movie to take my mind off my thoughts. We will have dinner later."

"Sure, I will heat it up whenever you are ready."

We watched a movie holding hands. I kept my head on his shoulders and closed my eyes. After sometime he woke me up gently. I noticed I had my head on his laps and his fingers were lost in my long hairs. I got up and noticed the chunni had fallen of exposing my chest. I hurriedly covered it and got up to heat the dinner. We both ate and he left. Afterwards. He told me he was going to Jaya's hometown and would return after delivery.

It was sad that as a couple they were going through this but I felt relieved that I won't have to go through all this for a while and also I believed that once Jaya is back all this will stop. It brought a sense of relief. I quickly changed into shorts and t-shirt and relaxed.

Reddy went out the next day. I messaged him few times asking about Jaya's health, he replied initially but after few days he stopped responding. I wondered what happened to her.

I went around living my life normally. Occasionally I would dress up in Jaya's clothes and explore femininity. I realized one thing during this time that cross-dressing was an inherent part of my life. I could not give it up, but at the same time the future would not be easy. I felt attracted towards beautiful women and I don't know what my future partner will say about this. Reddy's words also kept echoing in my ears about becoming a full woman, but as a woman I would be lesbian only. I can’t bear being a wife to another man. It was not just dressing up, it meant a lot more. Somehow a woman is always lower than a man in society. I never felt it earlier but these two meetings with reddy somehow made me feel inferior to a man. I was something made to server him or satisfy him. It really hurt my ego. Life as a woman was so much more complicated.

Few months passed and one day while coming back from office I saw his car parked. I excitedly went inside to have a look at the baby and Jaya. I pressed the bell and waited. Reddy opened the door with the infant in his arms.

"Hey Simran, meet little Jaya."

"Oh wow, it's a girl... but wouldn't you be confused if mom and daughter have same name." I laughed.

"No... I didn't tell you, Jaya passed away while giving her birth."

"What? Oh my god... I am so sorry Mr Reddy."

"It was about 1 month ago, the doctors gave their best but we couldn’t save her"

He was crying now. I felt really sympathetic towards this man, but I was at complete loss of words. I held his shoulders.

"I am so sorry; really don't know what to say."

"It’s ok, please come inside, would you mind holding her for few minutes, I have an important call."

I took her in my hands, she was tiny. I was a bit conscious, Reddy told me I had to make sure her head is supported. I stood there holding her; I wondered how Reddy will manage everything as a single father. The little one was awake and staring at me. Her hand was smaller than my little finger. I really felt affection towards her. I wondered what motherhood was like; it was another level of being a woman, something which would elude me even if I decided to become a woman.

I don't know how long I stood there holding her, lost in thoughts of motherhood, until she started crying. Reddy pointed out that he was still on call and pointed me towards table. I saw a packet of milk powder and water in a thermos. He signalled number 4 which would mean the number of scoops I guessed. I put her in the cradle where she was still kooing and crying. I made the milk and sat down with her and fed her. It was really good. She nodded off while drinking it. I sat there looking at her. My gaze was interrupted by his voice.

"Wow, you look like an expert, you already fed her and made her asleep, I struggled so much in morning."

"Ha-ha, I really enjoyed doing this, thanks." "No, thanks to you, I was able to peacefully work for some time, I have kept you engaged for a long time, you can go and get freshen up."

"Ok but are you alone, didn't any lady like your or her mother came to help you with her?"

"Oh they couldn't, I also didn't want to leave her with them. I would raise her on my own. I am looking for a maid."

"I know it’s too soon but you should remarry Mr Reddy, she would need a mother."

"I don't know, right now it hurts to even think about it, maybe when I am ready, don't know if will ever be ready."

"Hmm, true please take your time."

"Anyways, my mother has packed some food for me, would you like to eat."

"Yes please tell me where it is, I will get it for both of us."

He told me and I brought the dinner, we both ate, he told me in detail about the complications. I offered to cook breakfast and dinner for him until he got the maid. He told me that I could cook in his kitchen only. I nodded and left. I really felt sorry for him. I wondered how he would manage all this.

Soon we got into this routine; I would get up, get dressed and go down to cook food for him. We would have breakfast together and afterwards I would watch the kid for some time while he bathed. After this I would go to office. In evening again I would come down and cook, I would watch the kid for few hours when Reddy worked peacefully.

During all this he never once mentioned dressing up, we became good friends and I was really good with the kid. I was proud of myself about this. He checked some maids but wasn't able to finalize on any one. The month was March, 2020 and lockdown was announced in India. We both were stuck working from home. As a result I started making lunch also.

One day reddy told me in morning that it was his birthday and he told how Jaya would surprise him throughout the day with gifts and pranks. I felt bad for him; I don't know why I thought I would dress up and surprise him in evening. It had been a while since I got dressed properly due to lack of time. I was in my room only to sleep and used to get tired by cooking and office work.

After lockdown I got some free time and was planning to dress up someday. I thought I could give him some comfort by dressing up as a woman for him on his birthday. I came back early after lunch and told him that I had a call and would make and bring dinner from my room that day. I decided to make a cake for him first and after that I started to get ready. I picked one of the best sarees that Jaya had kept in my room. It was off white with small glassworks, I shaved all hairs on my hands and face and washed my hair. I made let them stay open and did light makeup with foundation and base. I applied lipstick and nail paints, some kajal and was ready. After that I wore saree and looked in mirror, I looked really hot. The blouse was really loose so I stuffed it with some clothes. I took the 4" heels and took out the cake and went down. Reddy was on an office call but as soon as he saw me his jaw dropped to the floor. He cut the call and came towards me with the biggest grin on his face. It was so nice to see him finally smile.

"Wow, this is such a good gift dear Simran. And you have baked a cake also... Wow."

He proceeded to give a gentle kiss on my forehead, I could see that his eyes had gone moist and that brought a little tear in my eyes also.

I said "Come on, don't cry, I will also start crying and ruin my kajal."

"Oh you silly girl, come here."

He pulled me close and hugged me.

"Just give me 15 min, I will get ready and we will cut the cake together."

"Yes ok, be quick as I have to cook dinner also."

"You will cook all dress up?"

"Yes that is the only gift you will have today."

Reddy smiled and went to take a bath, I walked up and lifted little Jaya in my arms. I don't know why but it felt really different this time, I felt a motherly affection towards her; I wanted to take care of this little one. I instinctively pulled her close to my chest and when I put her head close to my chest, she instinctively tried to open her little mouth; it really brought tears into my eyes. I felt sad about her and wished I had real breasts to feed her. She started crying when she wasn't able to find the milk. Reddy came hurriedly and made her calm. I made some milk for her and kept her in my laps, she kept staring at me, trying to make sense of my new look, and she wanted to touch my jewellery.

I had fed her so many times as a guy but this time it felt so special. After that we celebrated by cutting the cake, it was very emotional for Reddy who tried his best to smile. We ate cake and after that I went and made dinner. Reddy started drinking whiskey and smoking, he came around a few times and complimented me, once he came right behind me while I was cooking and put his face on my shoulders. I felt really small in front of him, he put one of his hands on my exposed waist and stomach and pulled me closer and smelled my hairs. I felt very helpless, I tried to put his hand away but it was firm. I don't know how but whenever I dressed up my strength used to become very low. I couldn't say or remove his hands and he kept doing what he wanted: kissing my body parts randomly, pressing my boobs etc.

It was getting difficult to cook like this so I had to say something: "I am not comfortable with too much physical intimacy, I am not able to cook properly too. Somehow it messes with my brain."

"Oh Simran, please let me be free today, it’s my birthday dammit."

His voice was a bit firm and he seemed angry. He started doing same things again but this time with more intensity, his hands were firmer and pressed my organs harder. Once I squeaked in pain when he pressed my pinched my ass too hard. I was saved by little Jaya who had somehow gotten up and started crying. Reddy went to take care of her and I completed dinner.

I laid it out and served him, I was getting ready to sit and eat beside him when he interrupted: "Jaya never ate with me, she used to sit next to me while I ate and she used to eat later like a good wife, same is case with my mother."

"But I am neither of those things, please red..." "No, don't interrupt me, Jaya never did, you will eat after me."

I silently complied and did as I was told. He really talked over me and was treating me like Jaya. He ate peacefully and kept touching me inappropriately while he ate. I tried to keep a smile on his face considering it was his birthday and the entire trauma he had been through. After finishing dinner he complimented my cooking, he got up without removing his plate and pointed towards it. I took it and kept in kitchen sink. He came in the kitchen behind me and told me to clean the kitchen before eating.

I again felt humiliated, I was not his maid, and I asked him: "So did Jaya also clean before eating?"

"Yes she did, she prepared her plate and proceeded to clean the kitchen completely before eating a morsel."

"But I am not Jaya, nor I am a man, why are expecting me to be like one."

He slapped me, I really felt angry and wanted to retaliate but instead of doing that I found myself crying. He dragged me towards Jaya dressing table, he made me sit and stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders and said: "Look at you dear, trying to please with me with all the dressing up, if you want to be a woman then be one, stop repeating that I am a man, which man wears a saree, makes a braid with jewellery." He pulled my braid tightly.

"Tell me Simran, which man wears a lipstick."

He wiped it off my face.

"Which man wears bangles and nail paints"

He lifted my hands and pressed it really hard "Which man comes to another man dressed as a woman and tells him this is gift on his birthday, if it is a gift then why can't I have it in whatever way I like. You are tied by your words now. I am a lawyer and I will use your words against you."

He had a wicked smile now, he saw the tears rolling down my cheeks, he continued: "Now instead of fighting back like a man, you sit in a pool of tears expecting me to wipe your tears, look at you Simran, what do you think you are?"

I cried and mumbled, "I am a man, and please let me go now." I tried to get up but he pushed me down with his hands.

"Where are you going, I am not finished with my gift yet, the night has just started?"

"What do you want to do with me Reddy?"

"Firstly the women in this house don't ask so many questions, so unless I tell you to speak you have to stay quiet now, I want you to use the items in these drawers below to redo you makeup and get dolled up."

I did as I was told; he sat beside me and kept looking at me. I did makeup with trembling hands, really worried about my future.

I tried to do it really slow but him starting to get irritated: "You women folk take years to get ready."

I slowly finished up, he lifted me up and dragged me towards the bed.

"I am not ready for all this Reddy, I just wanted to please you today, and I don't want to become a woman of your house or replace Jaya."

"Again you spoke without permission, should I slap you again"

He lifted his hands and brought it close to my face, I closed my eyes and turned away in anticipation but he gently held my face and held it with both hands and brought it towards his mouth. I tried to resist but his grasp was firm, soon our lips touched and he tried to push his tongue in my mouth, I closed it very tightly but he changed the position of his hands and put them on my cheeks in middle of my teeth to open my mouth, I was struggling and trying to become free of his grip but he was too strong, as soon as my mouth opened a little his tongue came inside to explore, it was very violating, I felt like killing myself. After doing it for a few minutes he let me go and went to sleep.

"Now you can have dinner, after dinner get little Jaya and sleep here keeping her between us."

I was really surprised and in a state of shock after the events of this night. I gathered all the courage I had and went to kitchen. I didn't feel like eating so I had some water and kept food in fridge. I took Jaya from cradle and kept her between me and Reddy and lied besides him.

"You didn't eat?"

I kept silent; I didn't want to talk to him.

"Let me sleep, I have had too much, I don't want another instruction on how women in your house eat or sleep. Please..."

He laughed a little, "The women in this house don't sleep before giving a foot massage to their husbands."

I noticed he got up and placed his feet near my face and lied down in opposite direction. He started touching my face with his feet. I had no option but to give him what he wanted. I got up and massaged his foot. He complimented my massaging skills. Soon he was in sound sleep. I got up and slept on the opposite end. I had barely slept for 15 mins when Jaya started crying, of course as a woman it was me who had to get up and take care of the child but I deliberately kept sleeping.

He waited for 2 minutes and when I didn't get up, I felt a slap on my head and it really hurt, "What the hell Simran, take care of Jaya or I will slap you again."

I got up and left the room in anger and took the baby with me who was still crying and Reddy was asleep again. She kept trying to find my no existent nipple to suckle on and got more irritated. I made some feed while holding her and fed her. After that I walked with her in my lap until she slept. I didn't want to go back to the room so I took her to another room and we slept there. She got up twice again that night. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't feel any anger towards little baby.

For the first time I had expected Reddy to get up but now with only me it felt very natural. I loved taking care of her and she really helped taking my mind off the trauma that I had been through that night. In morning when I got up, I noticed he was sitting outside. It seemed he had come around to his senses now.

"Hey I have made some coffee and breakfast. I am sorry, it's really difficult for me right now, I am so sorry," he said.

"Reddy, l want to be alone right now, I am not your wife. I am just a stupid crossdresser whom you caught red handed and now you have taken enough advantage of this fact, I will leave this house as soon as I can."

"No you can’t leave me, I saw my wife in you last night and that is why I expected you to behave as one."

"But I am not... please... No... You were just drunk I thought." I started crying, he hugged me again.

"I was really drunk, I was embarrassed about it in morning but I don't know how to say it ... it felt very natural, as if you were in right place at right time Simran."

I excused myself to change clothes as it was really uneasy in saree overnight. He allowed me to go; I came back and jumped flat on bed, thinking about last night.

I felt utterly humiliated; I removed the female clothes and lay naked for some time. The clothes lying beside me and the body I had didn't match. I cried for a little while but soon realized it was time to make breakfast for him, who would further teach me what the women in his house did. I wiped tears and took a bath. I also missed little one, somehow in those clothes it felt she was totally my responsibility. Wearing women clothes felt that I was accepting all that happened to me last night, so I decided to wear t-shirt and shorts. I removed nail polish and kajal and went down like a normal guy wearing my turban.

"Oh it’s you again," he said while putting the baby in basket.

"Yep, your gift is gone now. It’s time for breakfast; I will just quickly cook and login for work."

"Women don't need to work I believe, their skills are best suited in taking care of family and doing household work, I won’t allow my wife to work."

"Well I hope you find a wife suited to your requirements, maybe you can look for her in a village, your ideas are too regressive Mr. Reddy." I noticed baby had started crying again.

"Just because you changed your clothes, don't think my behaviour towards you would also change, in my mind I still see you in a saree, in fact I expected you to wear something similar but it seems you want to go against me."

"I am no mind reader; last night was too much for me, now if you will excuse me, the baby is crying, and how you are not hearing it."

"It’s your job now, please take care of baby and prepare breakfast, I take bed tea, just a note for tomorrow"

He gave a wicked smiled and winked. I felt a huge rock on shoulders. Last night had changed my life completely it felt. In the lockdown I had nowhere to escape. I took the baby and prepared feed for her. I made some omelettes, and called him once it was ready. I watched as he ate.

"You seem to be a quick learner, now please go and change into some clothes that fit your current status as my partner."

"I am no partner of yours and I won’t change into your partner, you cannot force me, you can beat me or even kill me, I don't care"

I felt surprised a bit at the harsh reactionary words coming out from my mouth, but it seemed to work. His face turned red and he clenched his fist and bumped the table and went outside. I ate my breakfast. After that I held the baby but her behaviour was bit different as if she didn't know who I was after last night. I felt the same emotions towards her as last night. Our bond had changed forever now it seemed. Anyways it felt really good for my ego to have stood up against Reddy.

I felt proud and a bit relieved actually. I was not really a woman, being a woman meant so much more than just wearing feminine clothes and makeup. It also meant interacting with the world as a woman, which is completely a different world if you compare it to a man. And I felt it just after dealing with just one person a woman. Even when that person knew I was a man dressed as woman and yet he treated me so differently, ordering me around and talking over me. It was a difficult world for a woman and I was a bit terrified to be one. I lacked the courage might be and the boldness I had today might have been due to the change of clothes. I realized why manliness is treated as courage while being feminine is weakness. I was gently rocking her cradle when Reddy came from behind.

"One of my clients wants to meet me; he is an IPS and he sending a car. I cannot say no to him as he will be angry, neither can I take her with me."

"Just ask Mr Reddy, I will take care of her, but I will take her to my room."

"Ok make sure you take everything she needs."

"Yes I will, you go."

"Err. Thanks... Simran."

He went to get dressed and left soon after. I was now alone with kid; I packed her stuff into a bag and took her to my room. She woke up after sometime and started crying. I fed her but she was not drinking the milk and started crying loudly. I tried to console her but it was not helping, I tried rocking her, walked a lot, she used to calm down but after some time she used to start crying again, I was really puzzled and kept her on my bed to call and talk to Reddy. I called him but I got a text from saying he couldn't talk, she was not taking the milk also. Then an idea struck me, I remembered that last night when I was dressed up she was trying to find my nipples to get milk, so I wore the bra and blouse again and brought her close to it, as expected she started to search for nipples again, I kept the bottle just next to my blouse and she started drinking from it. Poor little girl, I thought, if only her mother was there. My eyes were moist. She took the feed and slept and I don't know when I slept besides her wearing the blouse.

"What a view, you look like a tired mother who has just fed her kid and nodded off in tiredness."

I woke up hurriedly, Reddy was back and I was in a blouse and shorts.

"Please cover your blouse dear, it is very revealing the way you have dressed, so unbecoming of a woman from our household."

I took the saree lying on the bed and tried to cover my blouse.

I said "She wasn't sleeping, I tried a lot of things, finally when I wore a blouse and kept a bottle next to it, she drank and slept."

"Seems she also likes you more as a woman, Simran."

"No she just wants her mother, I really feel sad for her, if only Jaya was here..."

"I miss her so much," Reddy said, he came and lied on bed beside his daughter.

"She is so beautiful, nose and eyes are from her mother but chin and forehead look like mine."

"Her smile is also like Jaya" I said, the mood had become lighter now.

I got up and went to washroom and changed into my normal clothes. I came out and made some tea for both of us. We had tea and chatted about Jaya. While leaving he asked if he could take the baby with him and I said ok, it was his kid after all. He took her downstairs and I worked for some time.

After 1 hour I got a call from Reddy calling me downstairs, the baby was crying again. I went down and I saw baby was crying. I tried to console her but she was not ready to eat and seemed hungry. Reddy gave me the look and I also nodded, I went back and got dressed in the Saree and blouse and came down, Reddy was smiling now. I took the baby from him and she started searching for nipple again, I placed the bottle next to it and she drank peacefully and went to sleep.

"Looks like it's not just me who loves to see you as a woman," he commented in a snarky way with a big smile.

I was confused now, the kid had put me in a very difficult situation now, I did not want to dress up in front of Reddy but the kid was making it necessary. I had to get her out of this habit somehow. She was completely used to it and that too in such a short time. At night also I got a call from Reddy and I wore the blouse and went downstairs. It was really frustrating, he requested me to sleep there only but I agreed on condition that I and kid will sleep in a different room. He agreed and left us, at night she got up a few times and I couldn't sleep properly.

This also resulted in me wearing a blouse and bra for most of the time from then onwards. I slowly got used to it now but I really felt ashamed and weak whenever Reddy saw me like that so I used to wear a loose shirt or t-shirt to cover the blouse and bra underneath. But it was not very comfortable; I used to look so strange with blouse and shorts. I looked like a freak and my mind screamed at me to crossover to one side, either side was fine, all day I used to feel frustrated, voices inside me head screaming to be either be a man or a woman and get it over with it, I wanted to be a man mostly as I missed my life a man and I longed for being just a closeted crossdresser. But with the girl getting dependent on my womanly attire it looked I was stuck with being a woman in my chest area for some time. I was hoping as she grew up a little we would get over it. With time it started feeling odd whenever I was not wearing bra and blouse, it had become a necessity now.

Initially I had thought it was just a matter of few days and I would get her habit changed but slowly days became turned into weeks and a few months passed. Lockdown had eased now and work pressure was also increasing, with a child at my disposal for most of the time I was really in a soup. I used to think that any working women would have got some maternity leave but I have no such option. There were incidents where she started crying in few office calls embarrassing me. I was just hoping for all this to get over but life had other plans for me. One day as I was just sleeping I heard a noise of a lady in room; I woke up to see her and Reddy in the room staring at me.

"What is this, who is she or is it a he?"

"Mother, I will explain if you listen to me."

"It has been just a few months only since your wife passed away and you just couldn't wait and that too with someone who isn't even a woman I think."

"No mother it is not what it looks, we are not together, and he is just my tenant, helping me."

"So he is a man, but is he dressed as a woman, I never thought you are into men."

I was still in shock but this was too much to bear, I interrupted.

"Aunty, I like to dress up as a woman, Reddy caught me once and sort of blackmailed me initially but it was my choice also to some extent. The problem is once I held her wearing a blouse and since then she is not eating without me wearing it. I don't know how to get her out of this habit and we are stuck."

"Are you from third gender?"

This is a loose translation; the actual word was very harsh and brought a tear in my eye.

"No mother, he is just into women clothes, I don't think he wants to be a woman."

"Whatever, thank god it was just me seeing you too like this, I thought it would be a surprise for you as I don't know how you were managing du ring the lockdown. Your father also wanted to come but he had some work and would come in 2days. What will he tell him? You know how much of an orthodox he is, he will get a heart attack..."

"What can we do" sighed Reddy, "Mother, you can try feeding the child, I she is ok then Simran can stay at his room."

His mother tried and failed, it seemed we all were stuck with the kid only agreeing to eat from me. She had taken me as her mother somehow and it gave a happiness I had never known but it was marred with tension about his father now.

"Fuck, fuck fuck. What can we do?"

Reddy was very angry now.

"It’s all your fault, couldn't you control you stupid urges to be a woman, look where are we now. My kid will suffer because of your stupidity"

He shouted on me. His mother was somehow calm; it seemed she had figured out a way.

"Why don't we put him in the clothes he likes till your father is here, we will tell him she is the maid and she has a room to stay."

"No, what? No, not at all, I am not a maid, I earn good money."

"You earn peanuts Simran but we don't have any option, you have to do it for little Jaya."

"But as a maid when will I do office work? And I cannot be in a saree for full day."

"Already you stay in a blouse, just the shorts will be replaced by petticoat and you are good to go."

Reddy laughed. His mother chipped in.

"You like to be in women's clothes, I am giving you a golden opportunity, take a few days leave and work as full time maid, we will pay you double of your salary and you can keep the clothes, after Jaya was gone I wanted to donate them but it seems you can use them now."

I was completely dumbfounded to say anything, I just shrugged and agreed. His mother would help in transforming me into a maid. She got into preparations immediately.